The Crazy Victoria
by Heart of Sorrow
Summary: If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane; but when dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. A/OC
1. Prologue: Crazy Victoria

**The Crazy Victoria**

**Summary**: If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane; but when dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. A/OC

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Hellsing characters or any of the story plots, only the made up characters I have created.

**HOS**: Oh joy, this would be my first Hellsing story; be gentle with me. This story is mostly based off of the manga and maybe hints of the anime as well; hope you'll enjoy!

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**Prologue**

**Crazy**

**Victoria**

**"A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free."  
Nikos Kazantzakis**

**~:~**

**-On the Highway of Cheddar-**

"Sir, squad two and three have yet to check in at their located checkpoint and they are not responding!" says a policeman with a pair of headphones up to his ear while messing with a few knobs upon the radio trying to get any signal from any squadron.

"That is impossible, all three squadrons could have not been taken out that fast; try again!" The chief of police says in angered shock.

"I have four times, sir, they are still not responding!"

The chief muttered a few curses as he slams his hands upon the map of Cheddar on where the supposed troops were supposed to be heading. They had been here for many hours and had no progress what so ever; how hard could it be to capture one crazy man with crazy followers that were killing people in one small village? His first plan of action didn't go so well when the first squad didn't return or made any report of their whereabouts; he sent the second and third to go search for them while the other continues the search for the mad man. That didn't go as planned at all as he thought it would; it was one contradiction after another especially when _her_ sister was out there missing as well. It looked like he would have no other choice; he was going to send _her_ in; this was his last resort.

"Sgt. Morhill, I want you to contact someone for me ASAP…"

"Right away, sir; who will I be contacting…?"

"Lt. Serens Victoria,"

Sgt. Morhill's eyes widen in surprise and slight fear of hearing this female's name, not believing the Chief's words. Lt. Serens Victoria was dubbed mentally ill four years ago.

**~F.B.~**

When going hostile on every suspect she brings in as they were always banged up when being brought in. She mutters how they were 'vampire followers' and laughing a bit insanely when watching them bleed on the floor as they fell unconscious. It first started when she returned from undercover one night when trying to solve a murder case of women that were disappearing and then soon being found decapitated the next few days later; she kept muttering how a vampire almost killed her when she was asked when what happened; blood covered her front and face that looked to be covered in to what looked like ash.

On one night, a few months after the undercover job and a week after the whole banged up people she arrested, there was a major gun fight and insane laughter and screaming at an apartment downtown; the owner called the authorities quickly since he was afraid for his life because of the insane woman upstairs being trigger happy with her gun. By the time the police had arrived the whole apartment was a total massacre; blood was splattered and smeared everywhere from head to toe, glass and broken furniture littered the hallways, stairs and living room.

They found her in the kitchen covered in gore, brain matter and to what looked like the very same kind of ashes they found on her before while sitting on the very same man she had brought in a few days ago; it looked like his brain was massacred by bullets in close range when pinning him to the floor. She held an insane look in her eyes and face when smiling innocently.

"**The vampire and his follower attacked me…"** she giggled while rubbing the blood and brain parts all over her face then started laughing happily as if a child was seeing something funny. Luckily Seras was nowhere to be found as she was back at her desk catching up on her paperwork.

A few days later she was admitted to a mental hospital and hasn't been seen since; her sister had visited occasionally but spoke nothing about her visits or about how her sister was doing. She was normal around her twin sister but soon began to talk crazy whenever vampires and blood was brought up or mentioned; Serens Victoria never returned normal. Soon enough, four years later she was recently released due to her cooperative behavior but has yet to be known to anyone as of yet except her sister who told him that she was back and was currently living at her own place.

**~E.O.F~**

"A-Are you sure that is wise idea, sir…? I mean, she has been released earlier than expected but, how can we know for sure that she is back to normal…?"

"I hardly care at the moment, Sgt. Morhill; if she is still as crazy as she was years before why not send a crazy person to kill a crazy person? Call her in!"

"What would happen if her sister finds out that we sent her to be killed…?" Sgt. Morhill asked as he picked up a phone and began dialing the correct number.

"I'll deal with that later if she is still alive; she's probably already dead as we speak."

It was about fifteen minutes later when hearing the roar of a motorcycle coming down the highway; there were yells and screams when people darted out of the way of the in coming of the two wheeled vehicle. The chief and a few of his men exited the set up tent as the motorcycle skidded to the side in front of the said men, leaving skid marks in its wake behind her. The female was armed with two machine guns, side packs of ammo and hand guns on each hip and… was that a grenade launcher on her back…? Where the hell did she get all that artillery?

The female raises her thin gloved hands to the helmet as she took off the goggles first; revealing blue crazed but calm eyes then slowly removes her helmet to reveal long blond hair that stops just the mid-back as it flared on the sides. She wore a belly dark green tank top with baggy camouflaged pants and black military boots that reached up the shins to reveal a hidden knife inside.

The same face of Seras Victoria stares back at them though the only thing that cuts off from her sister was the deep scar from her face down her chest area. Everyone in the area stared openly at her with fearful looks and wide eyes as they stayed clear away from her.

"Good evening, gentleman…" her frightening calm voice sounded out, "…what service can the wonderful Crazy Victoria give you tonight…?" the woman, Serens Victoria smiled slowly making the men behind the Chief take a few steps back in fear; before the Chief could speak she spoke again but not directed at anyone, "Yes, I know why they want me here, Ren… don't take that tone of voice with me, I know what I'm doing. I know they're all bloody wankers that put me in the nut house, if they didn't then I wouldn't have met you inside me head a year ago. Yes Yes, I promise some bloodshed later, now, let me talk to the head wanker so we can go have some fun; thank you, Ren and yes, you are loved." Serens refocuses her eyes to the Chief as everyone around her were eyeing her warily and slightly fearful, "Sorry, Ren doesn't like you bunch of wankers as she so puts it; now, what was it that you were going to say?"

"Err… yes," they didn't call her crazy for nothing now that she has another voice talking inside her head, "About a month ago an odd vicar took refuge in a church, saying that he never went in the sun, looked as though that he hated it; he wore clergy robes with a hood to hide his eyes from the other towns people who visited the chapel…" Serens eyes unfocused and gave a faint slow grin as she didn't pay attention to what he was saying only watching his mouth move as Ren blocked out the annoying man's voice until she heard something interesting, "…could clearly see that the vicar had blood trickling from his mouth—" he was suddenly cut off as the young woman began laughing insanely as he jumped from the sudden loud sound.

"A vampire dressed as a bloody priest, what a riot this has turned out to be, eh, Ren?" a moment of silence, "Of course he'll have bloomin' mindless goully followers, probably took out the PO's and now armed with guns," She waves off her hand as she continues to talk to her self while dropping the helmet and placing on her goggles and snapping them on, "Yes yes, we're going to save sister dearest… don't call her that, she's rather healthy to have such a big chest…" another moment of silence, "…how mean! My chest is just the same size as her own; …OI! Keep my ass out of this! Oh… well, thank you, it is rather lovely…" Serens says while looking over her back side after taking out a small mini brown cigar out of her pants back pocket and lights it up by a match, "Alright, Alright, quit your yappin' we're goin' now; bloody git, so impatient…" They watched her rev up her motorcycle a few times before giving it some gas; the chief and other men moved away quickly as she peeled out and headed down the highway toward the village of Cheddar.

There was a bit of silence as the vibrating sound of the two wheeler disappeared down the road, leaving the people behind in awe and silence when the crazy woman disappeared. The chief looked at Sgt. Morhill with a dull annoyed look as he spoke.

"Crazy enough for you, Sergeant…?" No one said anything since they saw what they needed to see as everyone went on their business once more.

"Chief, Sir Hellsing has arrived…!"

"Right… bring our guest into the tent so we can know what the bloody hell is going on in that village..." Though he already knows but refused to believe a crazy female who talks to herself in third person; maybe this Sir Hellsing can make things clearer for them to understand.

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**HOS**: There you have it, the prologue; don't worry; ya'll going to see Alucard in the first chapter. Though I wonder how he'll react to Seren when they first meet… xD;

Thanks for reading!

Ja ne!

b ^o^ d

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	2. Chapter One: Paint Me Red

**The Crazy Victoria**

**Summary**: If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane; but when dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. In a mad world, only the mad are sane. A/OC

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the Hellsing characters or any of the story plots, only the made up characters I have created.

**HOS**: Oh joy, this would be my first Hellsing story; be gentle with me. This story is mostly based off of the manga and maybe hints of the anime as well; hope you'll enjoy!

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**Chapter One**

**Paint Me Red**

**"When the world goes mad, one must accept madness as sanity; since sanity is, in the last analysis, nothing but the madness on which the whole world happens to agree."  
-George Bernard Shaw**

**~:~**

"Ghouls…? A Vampire…?" the chief asked clearly annoyed when being told of this just about fifteen minutes ago by the crazy female.

"Correct…" said a strong confident bifocal tall woman with long blond hair wore a business suit that contains a red ribbon tied into a hanging bowtie with a cross pin attached to the knot.

"Do you expect me to believe that? That this is all because of some occult gibberish? You're just as crazy as that woman, Sir Hellsing; spouting nonsense about vampires and has ghoully followers as she so claims…!" the tall woman known as the Sir Hellsing regards at the man coolly when being told of this new information.

"A woman you say; do you happen to know who she works for; is she one of yours?"

"If she were still one of mine she would be fired a long time ago…"

"Still…?"

"She had been admitted to the mental institution four years ago claiming that the vampires were after her; killed a civilian claiming he was a 'vampire follower' and said that a vampire attacked her as well; blood was all over her apartment. She had just been released a few days ago and has been living with her twin sister ever since then.

"Why haven't we been notified about these attacks before?"

"We didn't think it would be relevant due to her psychotic illness…"

"Then why prey-tell have you let this so called psychotic woman into the village with an anti-Christ freak and ghouls running amuck inside?" There was a few moments of silence until the woman realized their intentions, "You sent her to die, didn't you?"

"We can't have a dangerous crazy woman living and running around the city even if the mental facility deemed her sane enough; by the weapons she brought with her; I doubt she'll live long enough to find her sister inside."

"So you doubt they'll return and not have to deal with the sisters' drama," The tall female frowned at this man then all the others as they looked ashamed when hearing the woman speak and looking at them. She takes out a pack of cigarettes and lights them; she glanced at her men that were standing a safe distance from the conversation. "Notify Alucard that he might have some company sometime soon and bring her back unharmed; I would like a word with this woman when this is all over with." The man did as he was ordered to and stepped outside.

"I have to warn you Sir Hellsing, she… tends to be spontaneous and likes to talk to herself in third person calling the name of Ren…"

"I understand completely; let's just hope she'll be sane enough to answer straight questions…" The chief says nothing as he spoke of what was on his mind from what she had said earlier.

"Who is this… Alucard you speak of…?"

"He's one of our men is a **special** anti-vampire expert. He's already on his way to Cheddar. It should all be over in a few hours." She says while taking a drag of her cigarette and let it rest between her teeth.

"What manner of **bloke** is he? Are you sure about him?" the chief asked not seeming to believe this, vampire nonsense.

"When it comes to monsters… yes, especially vampires… there's no one more **expert** than him."

"What do you suppose he'll do; how would we know when it's safe from what ever is in there…?" The tall woman smiled smugly and looked at them as if they were the most stupid people alive and how much that their fear drove them to madness if they, the Hellsing Organization, have not come to them in time.

"There's a vampire in that village manipulating the ghouls. You're up against a monstrosity. No matter how many normal troops or police you send in there and perhaps the young lady you let loose… all you're doing is offering them a meal. Vampires can only breed more vampires by drinking the blood of a virgin of the opposite sex. Others are simply food and end up becoming ghouls; nothing more than the vampires servants." There was a pause as the lady took a drag of her cancer stick and sighed out the smoke and casually leans upon her left leg with her arms crossed, "Though I am curious of this crazy woman that you speak of; it would seem to me that she knows what she's getting herself into; were her bullets blessed, do you know?"

"If you say that you know what she's doing, then I wouldn't doubt that they are; though why, why would her ammunition need to be blessed…?" Sgt. Morhill asked the tall woman with a hint of curiosity and fear as if he's not going to like what he hears.

"If she kills the head vampire, she'll kill them all, meaning every last ghoul that was created under its command; that is **if** she gets there first." There was a bit of silence until the woman spoke again, "That reminds me; this woman, what is her name and rank?" There was a bit of shuffling of papers as she was handed a vanilla folder of the said females name and rank.

"Lt. Serens Victoria…" the blond female looks at her pictures at the corner of the file, before and after pictures, "Let's see just how crazy you actually are…"

**~:~**

"_This is Hellsing! Hellsing Headquarters. Tell me your status, Alucard!"_

"Hmm… yeah, sorry; I was moon gazing." said the male known as Alucard who gave a small menacing smile to himself as he gazed at the full moon.

"_Keep it together, Alucard! You're the only one we can count on!"_

"I know. It's just such a nice night out."

"_Sir Hellsing has also been reported of a heavy armed female heading toward your position! It has also been said that she just recently been let out of the psycho ward a few days ago. They said to what caused her to snap was from killing a vampire when undercover; said that she hadn't been the same since." _There was a brief pause as the messenger continued_, "But soon after a while she became more brutal in her arrests, claiming them to be vampire followers; they demanded her to take her vacation time and relax but were attacked again by a vampire and its human follower in her own home."_

"Hmm… its rare now days to have vampires play with their food… her ammunition would be nothing against the target."

"_We had been advised that her ammunition has been blessed but we cannot be too sure; Sir Hellsing has also ordered you to apprehend her when the mission is finished that is if she and her sister are still among the living."_

"Does she truly believe that her sister would still be alive…?"

"_It would seem so; even if she wasn't they would've sent her in anyway to die since they don't trust her sanity very well…"_

"I see…" a smirk slowly took its place, "…it seems this is going to be a great night…" murmured Alucard as he continued walking down the dirt path toward Cheddar, "Makes me want to suck some blood; such a nice, quiet ni—" he was suddenly cut off as a motorcycle roared up into the air nearly hitting the said male; he stood still as the bike passed him from his left side leaving merely inches between them. Both their faces were faced forward with wide smirks on their features; as soon as the motorcycle had passed it landed on the dirt path; after about a mile it suddenly swerved into the forest area.

"Hmm… I wonder…" Alucards red tinted sunglasses glinted off the moonlight as he stares straight ahead soon finding a police woman running away from an army of ghouls and their vampire freak of a master, "Ah… so she lives after all… I wonder how this will turn out…" he smirks as he continues his walk.

**~:~**

Serens ditched her bike about a mile into the forest, when far enough she began to climb a large tree with many branches until she was high enough to see the small army of ghouls and their head honcho in the front laughing at the running female; Serens smirked widely while kneeled down upon the large branch as other foliage hides her body while positioning her grenade launcher out of the leaves as it was well concealed as she waited for the opportune moment to fire.

"_Come on, you big breasted female, do something to get the faggot away from his undead bitches!"_ yelled an annoying voice in her head causing Serens to smirk more but in small humor.

"**Now now, Ren, don't be so mean; she'll do something idiotic in a minute… and what did I say about making fun of her chest?"**

"_I could care less on what you said, I just want to go trigger happy, but waiting this long is making me impatient, almost makes me want to punch a baby…"_

"**Ren, stop making me so excited, I might miss… hmm?"** Serens glanced up from her firing position as she looks a bit to the side to see the very same red clad figure she had passed before not too far off.

"_His favorite color must be red, it's not like we can tell or anything, not at all…"_ Ren says sarcastically, _"It's like he painted himself that color… oh, and I want to be painted red too!"_

"**You're so bi-polar, Ren, it makes me want to giggle…"** there was a sudden gunshot in the air as her head turned quickly back to the scene to see the vampire appear in front of her sister by immediate speed.

"Guns won't do a thing. A gun could never kill a vampire."

"_Tch, I take it he hasn't been out much; probably having too much fun on raping little boys…"_

"**No no, we gave that position to another priest, remember? Besides, he's not a real one in the first place, so he doesn't count… he's just power hungry…"**

"_Oh yes, that pedofiling faggot priest… how could've I forgotten?"_

"First I'll rape you, and then take my time draining you. In the end you'll be one of my ghouls."

"NOOOOO!"

"_Damn, that girl has a too high frequence set of vocal cords… when was the last time have you ever heard her scream like that?"_

"**I do believe when our parents died…"**

"_Ah, no wonder… I still can't get the ringing out of our ears…"_

"**It wasn't THAT loud…"**

"_Close enou—"_

"Hold it; I think you've had about enough fun." The vampire suddenly turned in surprise by the other presence that he had yet to sense as Serens looked to the sound of the deep voice. "Youngsters these days, they're so… common. Whatever happened to moral values? Nothing more than the town punk,"

Serens stared at the red clad figure before lowering her weapon; she eyes him a few moments before giving a small smirk when getting an idea as she begins to climb down the tree in silence trying not to catch any attention as she snuck around the forest.

"_Are you really going to do it…?"_

"**You wanted to be painted red, right, why not have a dream come a reality than to jump into the fray…?"**

"_You do realize that we might die, right?"_

"**So…?"** A crazed smirk etched upon her face as she felt her other self do the same.

"_Good answer..."_

"Who are you, then; some backwoods nit with bad timing?" asked the vampire who seemed to be really annoyed of this man's appearance; the tall man seemed to have ignored the vampire as he answered the first question.

"My name's Alucard," Serens stopped behind the man that she now knew the name of by a few feet when seeing his left hand mention her to stop where she was; his red trench coat flapping against the wind keeping the said hand hidden from frontal view, "I'm an agent who takes out the trash for the secret service Hellsing. A hit man for the likes of you," Serens' eyes widen at this new information, she had heard of them before back in the force but didn't give them much thought to what they actually do.

"_How the hell did he know that we were behind him in the first place?"_

"**Think about it… he's an agent of the secret service to this Hellsing place… and his name is Alucard; what is his name spelled backwards?"**

"_What does that have to do...?"_ a sudden pause, _"…oh!"_

"**Exactly; he's a vampire… looks to be a very powerful one at that; that's why he was able to sense us and stopped us from getting too close from being seen."**

"Hit man, you say?" The vampire grins in amusement, "Seriously? You? No lie?" he asks in humor as he begins to laugh a bit then stopped as he raises his hand, "Kill him." Several guns were raised up and pointed at the red clad man by the ghoul-i-fied policeman.

"_**Ah, shit…"**_ muttered both Serens and Ren mentally as bullets were let loose hitting both Alucard and herself while Ren moaned in delight, _"Mmn… pain, it feels so enchanting; it's been a while since we have been tortured, I missed it…"_ she was nicked by a bullet in the face, soon her shoulder was hit, her left arm, then her right, stomach and finally her thighs. Her legs were shaking from pain but were smiling crazily as she continued to stand up; her blond hair covering her eyes as she was slightly hunched over while she watched the red clad man fall in a bloody heep as she quickly positioned her grenade launcher.

"Spent already, hit man?" Laughed the vampire insanely as he saw the bloody heap of Alucard but soon stopped when seeing a bloody crazed female smiling while aiming a weapon toward them.

"Hey, Seras; helmet check!" the said girl squeaked while ducking down and holding her head in fear as if she was going to be smacked hard on the head.

"Asti la vista, baby…" the trigger was pulled as the exploding bomb went over Seras hitting its mark upon the ghoul-ish creatures, taking off their heads and upper chest area's, body parts flying in different directions. Serens began walking forward as she passed the fallen corpse of Alucard to stop a few feet in front of him to get better aim. The trigger was pulled once more as it took out more of the creatures as more blood and other flying appendages flew in the air. Soon the firing stopped as a clicking sound was heard from the said grenade launcher; Serens looked at the weapon. "Well, ain't that a bitch… it's jammed…"

"S-Serens!" she heard her sister scream out her name when a sudden shadow toward in front of her person to slowly look up to a very angry vampire; she made a choking sound as she was lifted up by her neck as it was being squeezed tightly.

"You bloody little wench, how dare you! I should kill you for this like I did to your tall hit man friend!" Serens began chuckling as her crazed blue eyes stared down at him as he looked at her glaring confusedly.

"How could I die when something that has been killed is already dead long before it has been shot…?" A cough of blood sputters out of her mouth as it trickled down from the corner of her lips as she laughs a bit with hint of wheezing, "Do you remember what you have said before about guns not being able to kill vampires…?" The said vampire that was holding her up in the air stared at her with shocked eyes that were also filled with a bit of fear, "…they are useless aren't they, Sir Alucard…?"

Black mist was forming over the blood corpse on the ground as it began laughing in humor while his body began to lift up and regenerate back to normal, "You are correct, my little crazed one…" The now afraid vampire stared at Alucard in surprise and shock, "That is… _ordinary_ guns!" says the fully regenerated Alucard with a crazed fanged smirk as he slowly brought out a long silver gun out of his jacket as he suddenly positioned it over his arm.

"_Oooo, shiny…long…hard…"_

"**Ren, dear… now is not the time…"**

Alucard began firing his long barreled gun, killing the rest of the ghouls that were still up and walking that Serens had missed in the head and hearts, blood flying in every direction.

"_Isn't all this gore making you as horny as I am, Serens…? Because it's making me extremely excited and hot…"_

"**I would be lying if I said it wasn't… since you are after all me… but please don't orgasm here; save it for when we're not dying and in front of others…?"**

"_I hate it when you go all modest on me…"_

"Besides," Serens blinked dazedly, had she missed the whole conversation of Alucard and the vampire that was still holding her neck? "It's complicated, but I can't disobey the humans." Alucard explained while Serens noticed a bullet between his sharp teeth, "The bullets I used are 13mm explosive steel rounds, alloyed with silver melted from a Lanchester Cathedral cross."

"**Ah, blessed ammunition… explosive ones too… I want one too…"**

"_You and me both, sister…"_

"There's no freak around who can eat these and come back for seconds." His voice sent chills down her spine; his red gaze glances at her for a moment as he followed the arm that was holding her then noticed her grenade launcher was tilting upwards as he smirks at this when turning his attention back to the said vampire.

"Speaking of freaks, do kindly release me, you shit faced piss ant of a vampire or else you're going to be missing an arm…!"

"What can a mere human do with a jammed firearm…?"

"I did say that the weapon was jammed, but who says I was talking about that…?" Her smirk widens as she drops the jammed weapon as her feet swung to wrap around the male's arm as she took the blessed knife out of her boot and swiped the left arm clean off and fell with a painful cry when hitting the ground. The vampire began screaming out in pain and cursing her but she wasn't paying attention as she stared at her sister who was on the verge of tears.

"Serens…" Seras muttered as she took a step forward with her hand lightly stretched out toward her, "Why…?"

"Why the bloody hell not…? I did promise mum… and father to protect you… since I am after all… the big sister… I have every right… to protect my little sibling…" Serens' eyes closed while giving a genuine smile, "Alucard, sir, please be a sexy beast and shoot the wanker already…?" She says in an all innocent tone causing Alucard to smirk at the pet name that she presented him with while the wanker in question reacted to the raising large gun being pointed toward him he appeared behind Seras while wrapping his only arm around her neck, using her as a shield.

"Hold it, hit man, not another step!" The vampire yelled in fear as cold sweat began running down from his forehead as he nervously smiles while speaking, "She's soon to be the only survivor! Don't you want her to live? Why all the fuss, just let me go! Just pretend I got away!" Alucards' eyes narrows a bit then smirks once more while glancing at the nearly dying female on the ground.

"Hey, crazy one, are the both of you virgins…?" Seras reacted with a hot blush on her face when he asked this while Serens opened her unfocused eyes as she thought on it.

"Wha, what're you goin' on about now?"

"I asked if either of you virgins! Answer me!"

"Wha—! Eh! Ah!"

"Bastard! Enough of this crap!"

"Answer me!"

"Bloody wanker, no need to yell; it's been four years and I'm kind of bleeding to death, I needed a moment to think…" Serens tilted her head up a bit to look at her sisters' flushing face, "Judging by the redness of her face, I would say she is, if she wasn't she would've told me when visiting the psycho ward if she had a boyfriend in question…" She was cut off as a gun was fired as the bullet went through her sisters' chest, hitting the vampire in the heart making him let go of Seras as she fell to the ground with a small painful cry. The next thing she knew, Alucard was in front of nearly dead vampire as he struck his hand all the way through the one armed vampire then exploded into nothing.

Serens watches in fascination when blood flew in different directions in the air causing her and her inner self to sigh in delight as she closes her eyes whilst sleep was feeling heavenly to them right now. She grunted quietly when being nudged by a black boot.

"Hey, crazy girl, you only answered half my question; are YOU a virgin?"

"If kissing and giving hand jobs makes me not a virgin then I'm guilty…"

"So, you are a virgin then?"

"Yeah, last time I checked…" she heard him shift and kneel down beside her, "If you're going to do something, you better hurry; I'm beginning to see black spots and I'm rather tired…" she murmured softly as her eyes slowly closed as she felt a pinch of pain into the left side of her neck as she passed out from blood loss.

**~:~**

**~Highway to Cheddar~**

**~:~**

Integra stood up straight when seeing a tall outlined figure coming toward them carrying something in its arms; Alucard made his appearance in the headlights of the police vehicles as the thing he was carrying was a young police woman.

"He's back…!"

"The Hellsing guy…?"

"Well done, Alucard; how did it go?" Integra asked with a faint smirk while the police chief looked to be in a small panic for some reason.

"The vampire's dead; no survivors." The police chief sighed in relief when hearing this but raised a brow in confusion when seeing the living female in his arms.

"Huh…? Then who's she…?"

"Isn't police girl Victoria a survivor?"

"No, actually she's dead; I… I'm sorry…" said Seras with an apologetic look on her face while showing off her vampiric fangs as everyone around them gave out shocked and surprised shouts.

"What's the big idea, you fool?" screamed Integra in outrage.

"I couldn't help it."

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry…!"

"This means we're back where we started!"

Everyone went silent as they heard something shift behind Alucard as a pale bloody arm snakes around his neck while blond hair and red irises peered over his shoulder with a tired glare narrowing at everyone as the other Victoria made her self known.

"Will all you bloody trollop's _kindly_ shut the hell up, we're trying to sleep here…" her red gaze looked passed the blond haired woman that was known as Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing since Alucard explained who she was before getting here the looked toward the chief as he appears that he was about to soil himself, "You got your wish, you gutter trash; we're both dead now, soon you will be too…" She suddenly got out her grenade launcher and pointed at the police chief as everyone but the Hellsing group and Seras yelled out in terror as she pulled back the trigger, making the chief shudder and screamed in fright but only heard a click from the weapon. Serens tossed the jammed weapon away as a random policeman fumbled with it but caught it while staring at it as if it would accidently fire on him.

"I win, Seras, you owe me fifty bucks…" she says as Seras slumps her head down in defeat with a small whine. Everyone stares at the passed out chief and looked back at the crazed female as Integra eyed her in question.

"What do you mean, 'you win'?"

"I made a bet with Seras that I could make the chief scream, pass out and soil himself in fright with my broken weapon; she only betted that he would only pass out…"

"You have to admit, master, that it was kind of amusing…" says Alucard with the moment of silence while everyone that was around the police chief stepped away from him disgustedly.

"So you're Lt. Serens Victoria, this police girls' twin sister?" asks Integra, ignoring Alucards comment.

"Of course not, I'm her aunts grandma's sister twice removed…" Serens says sarcastically with a straight face, but soon rolls her eyes when seeing the glare of the tall woman's face, "I thought having the same face would make it obvious…"

"I have many things to discuss with you later on once we get back to headquarters; but there is something that I want to ask you first."

"Hmm…? What is it…?"

"Who're you calling a trollop?"

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**HOS**: Well there's the first chapter that everyone has been waiting for, hope you all enjoyed it and would send more reviews to make me continue!

Thanks for reading!

Ja ne!

b ^o^ d

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